"You've got so many dreams That you don't know where to put 'em So you'd better turn a few of 'em loose Your body's got a feeling that it's starting to rust You'd better rev it up and put it to use.." ("Nowhere fast" by Fire Inc. from "streets of fire") ... I'm there.. that's how I feel. There are so many that I want, so many things I want to be in life. I'm coming up on 40 and I am exhausted.. .. I have skin issues, allergies, they are really bad. They are currently causing some serious insomnia in my life. It's getting to the point where it isn't just allergic eczema anymore. my skin is turning bright red, I'm having an hard time breathing and when ever there isn't pain, there's itch, whenever there isn't itch there's this dry crackly feeling on my hands and feet. The only thing that will slow it down besides Prednizone is a 45 minute bath in Aveeno, and that only gets me relief for a couple of hours. There is something in my immediate environment that is causing this. I have this terrible feeling that my dog is responsible for it. I could be a cleaner person, I would really like to be. I make efforts, my house isn't that bad, but I am super sensitive to dust, dog dander and mildew. my skin is getting worse than it's ever been. I feel physical pain when I don't scratch and my legs get bloody and cut up when I do... ... So.. just clean your house... I would love to... That unfortunately, requires a lot of time, energy and will on my part to get done. I am doing what I can, unfortunately, it really isn't anywhere near enough. I'm struggling with depression, that's no fun. I've been doing that for years. The symptoms that seem to persist are: Lack of energy, bursts of rage, disorganization and apathy. I really have to struggle to not sit in front of the television... I'm going to college half time now, this actually helps with the whole couch potato thing.. I can't afford to watch TV.. too much to do.. Oh and I have back issues.. shoulder issues... a weight problem.... and a tendency to spiral violently out of control when I'm really stressed or overwhelmed. ... I know Buddhism has a "flaky-hippie" stigma, but it has really helped me get rid of a lot of unnecessary rage in my life. I've whittled it down to a manageable amount, I have my days, still. I am not done, not by a long shot, but I am aware now, that anger is a problem and you ALWAYS have a choice as to how to respond to it. You are never completely powerless to your own anger unless you decide you are.... ... I can only do, what i can do, when I can do it. Procrastination, if used right, can be a healthy and effective tool for staying focused on important things... If you have the ability to turn the blinders on in order to "not deal with something" than you have the ability to turn your blinders on to anything that isn't important. The next step is to prioritize.. One thing at a time. It sounds so simple, and you can say "I get it" until you're blue in the face.. the move you have on your mind, the more stress you'll have in your life... We all need to develop the ability to "let that which truly doesn't matter (at a given moment)... slide" (Fight Club, Chuck Palanuik)