I want to get better. I'm Overweight.. I weigh 330 pounds now. No matter how long I sleep or how well, I always feel tired. This morning it recurred to me that this fatigue comes from all of the extra weight I am carrying around. Every step I take requires 100 pounds more effort than it should. My body is suffering because of it. I am under a lot of stress and all of it goes through my digestive system. I compulsively eat fattening food. I can't stop. I have gotten into the habit of eating poorly because I don't like to cook and clean. I like to exercise, but it seems like, if I feel that I'm not getting results.. I quit. I can't stay determined. I can't. I have so much going on right now. Working out seems impossible for me to do. This feels terrible. This feels like "I will never feel better..." which leads to feelings of "I want to give up on everything... why bother?" But it ends there, for me. I know any thinking further down that road is just as pointless as my destructive compulsion. At least I can turn away from that, and at least at this point it makes sense: "I am tired all the time because I'm carrying around weight that I don't need...."