I'm totally not here, this can't be my life......

Major blow out with my brother/co-worker today. Said some really nasty things. I think that things wouldn't be so bad if I didn't know how much he enjoys pissing me off and if he didn't know where all my buttons where. But that's the thing, He's not happy until someone pushes their plate away and leaves the dinner table in tears. He used to do that to my sister, now, when he has a bad day, he does it to me. Except I don't go away crying, I curse, yell and slam doors off their hinges.

I've been in hospitals a lot lately, always playing a supportive role when I go (luckily). Hospitals aren't fun, they suck. Even with TV and a comfy chair they still suck. Someone you love, if not yourself, is hurt and you have to be there. It's another customer service situation except instead of waiting on hold, you're waiting in the ER in excrutiating pain while Doctor DimWit tries to dislodge his head from his ass, "And would you mind filling out these forms?" I guess everybody has to get paid, but when I get a $300.00 bill in the mail and I had to wait and deal with beaurocratic bullshit I don't feel like I'm getting the service that I should. Okay, I've chopped up the soapbox for firewood, everyone is safe.

I'm trying not to slack off at work, but blogs are addicting and most of the work is mundane. I've been told by a reputable source that I slack off because I'm not "accepting where I am and what I'm doing." That's probably true, because I view
my current job as a torture chamber I've been sentenced to indefinately (possitive thinking, I know).

So, nothing but Fun Fun Fun!! family blow outs, hospital visits, my life should be a flippin' TV show! I'm supposed to accept where I am and what I am in order to move forward in life. Which probably means that I'm living in a state of total denial, or perhaps the city of Total Denial, NJ 07000 Population: 1.

"I ain't even here, man. I'm in Cheyenne Wyoming"

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